Why Is Love Complicated?

Were you the little girl that played dress up as a bride and dreamed of her wedding day? Do you have a “Secret” Pinterest board for your wedding day, whenever that may be? Well I’m 33, turning 34 in August and I never thought I would still be checking the single box on my tax form. I was the girl that had the plan of being married with kids by the time I was 28 years old. That came and gone FAST!!! Haha. Living in Florida the retirement state, they so call it. It really doesn’t make finding Mr. YoungHotandSingle easily!

In 2009, I thought I met this great guy. He looked like a model! I was like, “How could this guy like me?!” I have never been a size zero and always had a curvy body. He would tell me how sexy and gorgeous I was and well, I believed him. Come to find out after dating him for a while, I learned I was not the only one seeing him.

Now you would think after this time of him cheating on me I would learn my lesson. Nope, because love is blind or lust whatever you want to call it. I will jump ahead a few years later to spare you the boring details. We had gone our own ways and one day I receive a Facebook message from him.

PSA: LADIES NEVER ACCEPT A MESSAGE ON FACEBOOK OR INSTAGRAM FROM AN EX. IT WILL NEVER TURN OUT WELL. JUST DELETE IT AND BLOCK THEM!!!!!!! THIS IS YOUR DAILY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM PINK IS POWERFUL – AMY.

I stupidly let him back in my life. Well three years of us dating and we had our ups and downs. I thought we were doing well. However, on Memorial Day weekend I’m scrolling Facebook and what do I find? His other “girlfriend” tagged him in a photo of them kissing posing in a “family photo” with her daughter. Here is the kicker, she knew about me! He kept telling me they were just longtime friends. I always had that gut feeling he was cheating on me with her, but I blew it off. I let his charm fool me, many times too be exact.

This is a prime example of why women need to stick together. Women can do more damage to each other and themselves when they belittle one another. This type of situation he used both of us and she let it happen. I let him hurt me and now have hate for another women. I shouldn’t hate her for what he did. I should only be upset for her posting. By me being upset I’m ultimately letting him win and belittling me. Men need to know us women stick together; they cannot put us against each other. We are smarter than that! He was the one the I was in a relationship with, not her. He was the one who decided to cheat on me and be disrespectful. She wasn’t the one I was in the relationship with. She had no commitment to me, he did.

When we begin to hate someone for their actions which are caused or coerced by someone, we need to remember we are being played. We need to pause, sit back, assess the situation, and think about why we are truly upset. Does our reaction really matter? Is anyone physically hurt? In a few months will you remember this, if not than take a deep breath and try to move on. Those tears shouldn’t be shed for anyone. The only time a tear should be shed is for a Louie Vuitton purse, an engagement ring, or when you say, “I Do”. The smartest words ever said, is never to cry over a man who doesn’t want to be in your life. I beg you don’t waste another minute of your life on a man who doesn’t put you first. I wasted too many minutes, hours, days and years on my ex and I regret it. Don’t be me. I should have listened to my friends and family telling me he wasn’t “the one” for me. Feel confident and believe in yourself and your worth that you will find what you deserve in a relationship. It is out there waiting for you, do not settle!

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